This Tendency 
I have this tendency to spontaneously change
I grow my hair long 
cut it off at my shoulders during a life crisis
I wear baggy sweatshirts for a month 
to wear a little black dress and stun the world
I avoided public speaking for years just to one day decide I wasn’t going to be afraid anymore 
from the moment I met you I knew it was going to be different 
and I know everyone that’s been in love says that 
but I know first hand that it is the truth 
you made me smile and love the color yellow 
you allowed me to find comfort?in a backwards baseball cap
I finally fell in love with summer and purple sunsets with a bright orange sun 
and the anxiety I get from carnival rides 
I cut off my long blonde hair in the span of our relationship
and turned to dramatic dark brown but it wasn’t the same as the times before 
this time I didn’t change my hair because I was unhappy
this time it was because I was so abundantly happy confident in myself and our relationship
when we ended I didn’t change a thing about me 
after my dance date stood me up freshman year I decided it was timeto get over my fear of public speaking 
after my first date kissed me then never spoke to me again 
I gained confidence that I never thought I would ever have 
somehow losing both of them made me the person I always wanted to be 
when I lost you I didn’t change at all 
my heart is still too bigmy confidence is still growing and I still love you 
I’m finally good enough for myself 
I just wish I was good enough for you too.